HAIZs. I dunno how to explain.
Its really very very contradicting.
I wan to organise a chalet/outing b'cos...I feel cool
I feel great
I got sense of fulfilment.
I got sense of satisfaction.
I like the idea of going out in BIG group.
I like the whole "together-ness" atmosphere.
I like the idea of doing things together.I like the idea of spending the time together.I like the idea of sharing the same memories.I like the thought of everyone happy i happy.
BUT...I am sick of it alr.
I am sick of not having full strength turning up.
I am sick of calling and making decision for the group.
I am afraid i made the wrong decision.
I am afraid i said the wrong thing.
I am afraid i was being used.
I am afraid i might not enjoy the process.
I am afraid the others migt not enjoy the proces
I am afraid of people's criticism.
What to do?!
Sianed.
I dunno since when i experience this but i really really sianed.
Sometimes i told myself not to care, BUT i still.....haiz.....
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18-19 Years old.
2 years later= 21.
i might be working already.
Alr an adult.
I might be trying to adapt to a new environment experiencing another type of stress.Different stage have different stress.
So enjoy while we can.
I guessed..
I enjoyed my
secondary school life (of cos esp sec 4!)
I enjoyed my
primary school life and
I enjoyed my
kindergarden school life.
But as for poly school life...
I felt there's was this
smth missing...
I smelt something fishy yet again.
I rather enjoyed my own stories than enjoying others. Since when, am I just a passerby in other ppl story?
Why din I have my own stories?
I just wants to enjoy now.
Now currently as a student.
To work hard and also to play hard.
But i feel its so difficult. WHY?????
Could it be better if i chose JC over poly?
Too late for regrets.
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Its too late for everything............................................
Too Late......................................